Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
