ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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