First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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