Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
