the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Don't tell me you're on acid again
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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