his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Randomize
