Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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