my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Randomize
