I wish life had little blips of pornography
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
