You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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