PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I need moral support for this bender
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
