So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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