Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Randomize