Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
oh god the rape fog is back!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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