Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You are a genius and a whore.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
