In the future we'll all be gay
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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