were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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