Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
