Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize