At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
