Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
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chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
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No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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