so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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