Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
