Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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