I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
