My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
