the condom got lost in my hair
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
