You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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