does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
