sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
