I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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