Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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