Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just invented taco cereal.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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