I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
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You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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