Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
