Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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