hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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