im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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