is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
