He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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