everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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