i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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