I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
