He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
