We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
