if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
