I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize