...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
