sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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