So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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