yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize