Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
