He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize