can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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