Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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