Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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