Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she looked like the before picture.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
