She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
